You should be developing more trust first. ![]() This is why it’s not recommended that you do heavy scenes or attempt to push boundaries and limits with someone in the beginning. Now, if you are just starting to play and have just met that person or have only known them a short time, then a whole lot of trust isn’t necessarily there yet. When you play as a Top you are trusting another person to be honest with you up front and not vilify you if you make a mistake. When you play as a bottom you are trusting someone with your physical, mental, and emotional well-being for a certain amount of time. There are reasons I don’t do pick up play and why I like to be at least friends with someone before I do a scene with them. It’s about personal responsibility and compassion. This article is about consent and negotiation and mistakes and hindsight. Remember to play safely, with consent and have FUN! 101, personal/reflection, power exchange & D/s, writing BDSM, bdsm bondage, bdsm checklist, bdsm clubs, BDSM Dating, bdsm dynamic, BDSM event, bdsm fetish sex, bdsm gear, bdsm ideas, BDSM Lifestyle, BDSM Los Angeles, bdsm sex, bdsm singles, bdsm slave, bdsm stories, bdsm swingers, boi's, Bondage, bondage bdsm, bondage website, coming out, communication, consent, consent violation, D-type, D-type fluid, D/s, Daddys, Dominants, dynamic, fetish, fetish dating site, fetlife, fetlife events, kink, Kink Event, Kink Fetish, Kink Positive, kink relationship, Kinky, Los Angeles, los angeles events, Master/Slave, metacommunication, negotiation, play, poly, polyamory, Positive, power exchange, relationship, Rope Bondage, s-type, s-type fluid, S&M, scene, Sex, Sex Positive, slaves, Subdrop, submissives, subspace, switch, switches, the art of flogging, the bondage club, trigger, upcoming events in la, xxx kink ![]() However,Īs I mentioned PLEASE negotiate these things very carefully! Consensual humiliation or beginner level fear playĪre also things that you can “play with” as a beginner. ![]() Things like role play can enhance any scene no matter the implements Not a danger at all physically, however, need to be well negotiated! Toys, there are many other things you can introduce in play that are Knife play, single tails, and other such toys should be used with caution and only after you know what you’re doing with them. If you use vampire gloves for sensation – be careful about using them for impact. Try to avoid toys that can break the skin. Just pressing them against skin that is freshly played with can create a lovely reaction!Īs you may have noticed, most of what I’ve referred to in #1 and #2 has been impact toys. For temperature play, besides using water (at different temps) and ice, you can also take toys or things made of metal and put them in the fridge so that for the scene they are nice and chilly. These are wonderful to use in scenes whether you are leaning on them to make up for skill level or if you are a very experienced player! A scene doesn’t need to be all about “hitting them with stuff”. Use things like feathers, wartenberg wheels, fur, water, ice, etc. One thing that’s great is going back and forth between sadistic and pleasurable sensations. Use things to create different sensations. Play isn’t all about impact or other implements or types of play that require more skill and practice. Even with standard handle floggers you can hold the top of the handle (closest to the falls) rather than the end or middle of the handle. If you already have toys that seem a bit too long then try “choking up” until it gets more comfortable. Shorter crops or straps with more handle than body. For floggers this could mean shorter falls, shorter handle, or both. When you are choosing toys look for things that aren’t as long. This is especially true when a toy has flexibility. In general, if you are using toys that you don’t feel like you have control over or you’re having trouble with aim and precision, it could be the length. Although cleaning is still essential! Lol You can do so many things with them – spanking, punching, pinching, tickling, squeezing, pressure points, scratching, massage, hair pulling, face slapping….the list goes on and on! They can be used in a sensual way, for sexual touch, light to heavy, thuddy, or stingy. They are also quite convenient – no need to remember to pack them or find space for them. ![]() In my opinion your hands are the best implements you have. Reference specific toys of course – but the list is written with a Toes – that is not exactly what you are going to get. However, since I like to keep readers on their Have assumed that you would find a list of specific toys that are
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